August 2nd came and went. My mind was wandering on the first august 2nd that was ever really significant to me that occurred 8 short years ago. I remember all the details to that day better today than I have in a long time… all the silly things that are trivial but now are special. I remember thinking that wedding lines are an odd thing but I didn’t mind standing there with her as she smiled at everyone and thinking wow, this girl is with me now…cool. I stood in another line recently that looked very similar with one significant difference, she wasn’t standing next to me. The funeral was good to see those that love us and especially her, but I missed her. I missed her standing there telling me who each person was and how she knows them and even some tiny little story that she would remember. I miss her more today than that day, and more with every day that comes. Her parents are home from Africa and moved their furniture back into their house and with that there is a porcelain doll that was given to her on the day of our wedding that is a replica of Wendy in her wedding dress with her auburn hair done up with the familiar curls falling down. Detailed even down to her miniature bouquet. I never paid that much attention to those kind of things before now, but the memories flood back from that perfect day with each of those little details. Oh, how I miss her. Emotions run close to the surface, so much closer than ever before, but I still do well. We decided before our 1st year anniversary that we would switch off each year on who planned what we did for our anniversary. It made things fun. This year was her turn. My time with her was spent laying on the grass wishing I could see her. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself as I thought “Wendy, I would have planned a better anniversary if it were my year”
The headstone was put in not long after. I think it looks good. It is different now that her name is in stone. Granite. I think it is local granite, appropriate that if it is from the same mountain that built the temple we were sealed in. I am not certain if that’s true, but I like the thought.
I did defer med school. I am excited to get started, but this is where I need to be right now. I haven’t gone back to working just yet. Playing at Mr. Mom seems to be what I need to be doing right now and because of others kindness that buys me some time, I am able to do that for now.
